who cut down the cherry tree?

> Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president,
> chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. His father saw the damaged
> tree and asked his son if he knew who did it. George was quoted
> bravely admitting the truth:

> 'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I cut it with my axe.'

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the same question:

> Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - 'I did not chop down that cherry tree; I was just taking a nap under it.'

> Najib Razak - 'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'

> Hishamuddin Hussein Onn - '...but I only own a keris ,not an axe; so how to chop down that cherry tree?'

> Dr Mahathir Mohamd - 'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.'

> VK Lingam - 'It could be me, it may be me but I don't think it's me.'

> Anwar Ibrahim - 'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.'

> Mohd Khir Toyo - 'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.'

> Ahmad Said (Terengganu MB) - 'I chopped it down because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.'

> Azalina Othman - 'Cherry tree is not included in my tourism MOU so I chopped it down. Besides, there are so many unauthorised signboards being put up by Ah Long around that damn tree.'

> Shabery Cheek - 'Not me. I challenge you to an open debate on tree cutting.'

> S Samy Velu - 'I chopped it down because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.

> Wira Ali Rustam - 'We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years. We do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.'

> Rais Yatim - 'You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad Said said cherry trees are expensive to maintain; Ali Rustam said that's against our national identity and, I needed to test my new axe; so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'

> Sharir Samad - 'I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.'

> Karpal Singh - 'The bigfoot creature did it.'

> Bung Mokhtar - 'The big monkey did it.'

> Pandikar Amin Mulia (Speaker) - 'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees. Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.

> Khairy Jamaluddin - 'I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?'

> Lim Kit Siang - 'Cherry tree also you don't know; you are an insult to Oxford!'

> Nazri Abdul Aziz - 'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now....'

> Malaysian Citizens - 'Oh for heaven's sake! Somebody please plant something before we all starve to death!'