am i crazy or i just have a split personality?

its 5.23 in the morning..not to mention its the raya's morning..i can't sleep..too many things that is on my mind(including her).. I've been wondering for quite sometimes now..yesterday, and old friend of my mine said something..which i usually don't care..but since she's one of the person that knows me well in my life,her words seems to have a bigger impact than others..

she said : why are you so mean these days?
i said : well,reality bites dear n it is not as sweet as you think..that's why I'm doing you a favor now..so you know what to expect in life...
she said : you've changed a lot since the last time we met...
i said : i don't changed pon..or maybe I've grown wiser..
she said : I'm kinda miss the "old" you..the sweet one..even if you've grown wiser,that doesn't mean you should be mean to others dear..

i was left clueless....

to be honest, i don't know why i've been so mean lately..but i'm still the same old person..still sweet.. still knows how to respect others(i hope)..even emellia said that sometimes she's scared with me..maybe its my defense mechanism..i just don't want to be hurt..or maybe i'm turning into a monster..i don't know..but i guess its all part of life where you need to discover your true color,your true self..just hope that along the process,i wont be hurting too much people..

i don't blame people to hate me,in fact i don't mind if other people hates me..i just want to be myself..to be honest and frank even if it hurts you like hell coz reality bites and it is not as sweet as you think..

wanna bet with me?