bedtime stories

I'm back at home..
trying to figure out things.

while the rest of the world are in the celebration mood
for new year,let us not forget what happened in Palestine.
women,children, senior citizens are being killed easily
by the Jews.

and what can the rest of the world do? talking talking and talking..
and then celebrate new year like nothing happen..
its a sad world today, to see the value of mankind, peace and harmony
are not being cherished. another excused for not helping the Palestinian people
is because of the world economic downfall..

bloody hell..what a shitty excused..
even when the world economy at its peak, none of the great countries
help.and the saddest part of it, the O.I.C did not do anything.
such a shame. and such a waste.

anyway,to all my friends out there, lets give a moment
for us to think,or at least pray if u can't think, so that one day,
those bunch of corrupted Islamic leaders of ours could awake
from their lullaby and starts making actions and solutions
rather than sitting and talking crap.

p/s today's world sucks..big time..

The Confusion of the Scholars by Yahiya Emerick

Have you ever been confronted with such stupidity that you were speechless? It happens all the time and in all spheres of life. The person driving ahead of you can't make up their mind whether to turn left, right, stop, go or travel ahead. The teenager is wearing a full "uniform" of baggy pants, shaved head, ear-ring and gold chains and exclaims he's being "unique." Or my favorite example is that of a man at an auto auction who yelled out "three hundred" when the auctioneer just lowered the price to fifty. Stupidity is sometimes an art form and many people spend a lifetime perfecting it.

Usually, the strange actions and behavior of others have little immediate impact on our lives. It often takes a long time for the stupid actions of some to build up to a point where the rest of us suffer. Take for instance the problem of the United Nations. Two-faced people will stand up and tell us that it's the forum for the world and that it's committed to world peace, conflict resolution, justice, etc... But after almost fifty years of bungling, this front for Western, secular domination has prolonged more wars than it solved.

The UN's budget is riddled with corruption and inefficiency and UN headed military missions come with more feebleness, bad action and/or inaction than anything else. (Think Bosnia, Somalia, Korea, Rwanda, etc...) Twenty years ago it didn't matter as the two superpowers kept the world on a tight leash. But now that one superpower is gone, the UN's stupidity and confusion is unable to keep the last superpower in check, let alone tin-pot dictators. The prolonged weakness now makes the world more dangerous.

What about Muslims? Are there any incredibly stupid actions which have built up to a dangerous level. Of course! Of the many to choose from, which one am I going to pick on today? Yep, you guessed it. I'm going to point out how some (not all) "scholars" have steered us wrong and taken us away from the path of Islam.

You often hear the terms, Shaykh, Scholar, 'Alim, 'Ulema, Maulana, Mullah, Allamah, Imam, etc... There are so many people with these titles in front of their names that it's dizzying. You know how so many Muslims are into the whole " Doctor" thing? Seeking status by having everyone call them Doctor? Well, the whole scholar thing is there too and it's much older than the Western oriented " Doctor" worship. (Sometimes you see people writing their names as " Dr. Shaykh whatever." Now that's funny.

Here's the problem I see. When I first became a Muslim, I read so many books that extolled the wondrous virtues of the Islamic system. That is the system that I love. And one of the things that was mentioned over and over was that there was no clergy in Islam. No "Holy" men or intermediaries between Allah and people. Then I was introduced into the whole culture of "Scholars." That's where my alarm bells started to ring.

Of course, I have nothing against a person acquiring a lot of knowledge, whether it's for Islamic learning or worldly benefit. I have nothing against the concept of the scholar, the doctor, the engineer, etc... I do have a problem if some people use those terms as a cover for their arrogance and mistakes and then it affects me in a negative way, either directly or indirectly.

For example, as you well know, there are many competing groups of Muslims today in the ideological wars. There are the Saudi-funded Salafies, the Iranian funded Mullahs, the Egyptian/Syrian Brotherhood groups, the Tablighi Jamaati people, the mysterious Hizb at Tahreer, the Jamati Islami groups, the African American Muslim groups, the secularist Indo-Pak groups and about twenty others. Each group has its own scholars who "prove" to the faithful that the other groups are inferior. These same "scholars" often issue "Fatwas" or religious verdicts about items of concern for individual members and life goes on in the happy dreamland of exclusive truth.

These groups often issue contradictory Fatwas and rarely ever work together on anything. How many of you have been to a gathering of one of these or other groups where the "big scholar" is treated like a celebrity? ell-wishers and sycophants fawning all over him. (It's always a "Him." What's the average, concerned Muslim suppossed to think when the "scholars" are often so full of pride and arrogance that they are repulsive? The heirarchy involved in the "scholar" system in amazing! The big Maulanas are usually the fattest. The medium Maulanas have shorter beards and smaller bellies, while the Maulana wanna-bees are thin and stand off in the fringes of the great procession. (Don't get angry at me for pointing out what everyone knows.)

So where does the stupidness come in? There are several areas to look at and the first is on the issue of who is a "Scholar" or "Shaykh?" Allah is very harsh against the Jews and the Christians for considering their priests and rabbis as people who could make religious judgments without consulting Allah's revelations. The priests made the eating of pork allowed for Christians, with no authority from Allah or from Prophet Jesus, while the rabbis made laws such as a woman could not be in the house during her period and that milk and meat could not be eaten together. In this respect, the people "worshipped" their leaders besides Allah.

Sadly, this is exactly what Muslims have done for the last thousand years. In the early days of Islam, no one went around with austentatious titles, as if they were somehow set apart from the rest of the people. Everyone was usually addressed as brother or sister. No one earned overly glorified titles, either, just because they studied with a Sahabi. The only real special term that I have ever come across which was frequently used by the Prophet to describe others is 'Alim (learned person). And this term was never used in the sense of a "priest" or Holy man. It was just that: a person who is learned.

In Madina, everyone was "learned" to one extent or another. The trader knew how to practice Islam, the housewife knew how to practice Islam and the traveler knew it too. If someone needed to ask a question about Islam that they didn't know, they would go to a friend or neighbor. For really detailed questions, they might consult someone who was known to be a teacher. But they wouldn't fawn all over the teacher nor would the teacher dress or act in such a way as to set him or herself apart from the rest of the believers.

Centuries passed and a funny thing happened. The Islamic world spread in so many different directions and millions of people were becoming Muslims. The common knowledge of Islam was not so common anymore. If a Muslim teacher went to any area where Islamic knowledge was scarce, suddenly, everyone was wanting to be around him. The teacher became special. (Think of Sufi-style Shaykh worship for example.) Fast forward many more centuries. There are millions of Muslims, but few know much about Islam. Teachers have become "holy" men and have such titles as "Shaykh" or "Maulana". They are a special class, or caste, of people who are sought after and revered by people who want to see their "god" in the flesh because the concept of an unseen Creator is to intellectual for most. (Hence, Muslim "Saints!"

So what of the world today? Any person who learns a few dozen ahadith and one or two ajza is calling himself a scholar and making pronouncements about Islam to his flock who knows little. I have met people who knew little about Islam calling themselves Imam, or Shaykh or whatever. Who made them Imam? Who promoted them to the role of a guardian of the Deen? Was it their ignorant followers? Was it by virtue of the fact that they attended some madrasa in another culture? Is it because they're rich? Who knows? All I know is that a real scholar doesn't call himself by a title. He doesn't need it. A real knower of Islam realizes he knows so little and is humble. A title makes him feel uncomfortable. That is a real Muslim leader. But what we have mostly is a clergy class. (Think of that hadith about the Day of Judgment where the pretentious scholar is thrown in Hell.)

And what do the self-appointed scholars say? The stupidity is amazing! (These are all actual Fatwas One scholar will say that chewing gum does not break the fast. Another says that using a fork is haram. A third says that eating McDonald's meat is okay while a fourth says of it, no way. One scholar says human cloning is halal, while another says it's haram. One local scholar in New York says the Sunnah is not important and that most ahadith are fabricated. One in Egypt says that wife-beating is okay if the wife doesn't make an effort to look pretty while another says that mortgages are allowed under duress. (Have you ever heard the Fatwa that living in America is haram? It's there.) Each one of these scholars backs up their arguements with Qur'an and hadith, in a usually twisted way, and then says anyone who does otherwise is a kafir.

The Muslim masses, especially in the West, become very confused. The Blessed Prophet advised us to ask the learned people if a tough question comes up, but we have incredibly un-learned people leading us. I'm sure you are all aware of that hadith where the Prophet said that he doesn't punish a nation until the learned are no more. I'm sure you'll agree that having a lot of "scholars" doesn't preclude learning being gone.

The biggest confusion among the scholars that I've seen is the issue of Bida', or innovation in the Deen. The blessed Prophet once remarked that if anyone brings something new into Islam that it would be rejected. On another occassion, he said, referring to Islam, that every innovation was a wrong and that every wrong will be in the fire. So what have some of our self-proclaimed scholars gone and done? They have included ordinary, everyday things in this definition of Bida'. Even though the Prophet was talking about people changing the beliefs and practices of Islam, our "scholars," in their infinte wisdom, have said that any new invention after the time of the Prophet is also an "innovation" in Islam.

I'm sorry, I have no clue how a new type of saddle, weapon, hairbrush, toothpick or shovel can possibly be called an innovation in the Deen. They have no relation to the Deen. Everyday items for common use are just that, ordinary aspects of life. Of course, these "scholars" apply this rule selectively. They will take a plane when they go to Hajj, instead of riding a horse. They'll use a microphone instead of shouting and they'll print their ideas in books. (Remember, the Blessed Prophet did not use any printed books in his da'wah.) Oh my gosh! Bida'! (Look at page 691 of Reliance of the Traveller and you will read a hadith where the Prophet encourages good innovations. I guess the scholars didn't read that hadith from Sahih Muslim.)

If you think I'm exaggerating, then ponder over the things I've written. Have you seen anything like it? Have you seen pride on the faces of those who claim to be scholars? Which brings me to my last point. Many scholars make Islam seem totally distant and unreachable. How many times have I been sitting in a Masjid or lecture hall and saw some scholar expounding on Islam in an overly-technical way? Why do you think that teenagers and twenty-something Muslims run away from the Masjid? The scholars use too much Arabic terminology and don't explain things in a digestible way. If it's Sunnah to speak to people according to their level, why do our self-appointed leaders speak as if they're addressing a gathering of scholars all the time?

Don't get mad at me. Don't write angry letters about me. I'm telling you the truth. Listen, I understand the Arabic terminology. I understand even the most difficult concepts. Perhaps you do also. But the average Muslim has no clue what Taddabur is or what derivative verbs are or what Tassawaf is or what Usuli Fiqh is. We have ninety percent of our "next generation" one step away from kufr and these "scholars" give lectures that few of the youth, teenagers, converts or average Muslims can understand.

Of course, the older, immigrant Muslims may understand some of the speech or du'at because they grew up in a Muslim country and heard of some of the concepts. But Islamic knowledge is cut off in the generation raised in the West. Don't the "scholars" of Islam realize this? They are acting like they are teaching in Medina when in fact they are in pre-Islamic Mecca. (Do you know how many da'wah workers mess up their da'wah by using excessive Arabic grammar and concepts that American people don't understand?)

I've often lamented that in our Masajid and centers, in many cases, the Imams and "Scholars" have no clue about the needs of their community. They often can't counsel, teach effectively or even show compassion and understanding.

I'm just glad that there are a few good scholars around. I just wish there were more, that they could be in the majority. Then we wouldn't have the confusion and stupidity on such a high level making it difficult for all of us. I know of one Masjid where the Imam carries a gun and has pulled it on Muslims in the Masjid! (How did he get to be an Imam?)

Have you ever heard of a Doctor of Divinity? It's a special degree that Christians usually get before they can become priests or ministers. The candidate must not only study the beliefs and teachings of his or her religion, they must also study: marriage counseling, youth psychology, administration, public speaking, philosophy, comparative religion, management, writing, literature, etc... Why doesn't the board of directors of Masjid X,Y or Z require this from their Imams and resident "scholars"? In many communities I've been in, the Imam, who is almost always a hafiz, is the least respected because all he knows is the Qur'an, he usually has no practical knowledge of anything else whatsoever. The Islamic movement needs real, well-rounded and versatile leaders. We need humble people who don't hide behind titles and enter exclusive "scholar's" clubs.

I don't want anyone to think I'm speaking out against the concept of scholars. I'm not. I repeat, I'm not. I'm speaking out against the laziness in the Ummah which has let our standards for what a scholar should be drop so low that anyone, regardless of intelligence can claim to be a scholar, and then have people follow him. (Do you know how many "Imams" I've seen carrying sticks to beat their students of Qur'an?) I'm also speaking out against those who have acquired such a high level of knowledge but then don't know how to relate it to the people. (Do you know how many big scholars I've seen drunk on their own knowledge while the people around them are lost?)

Some brothers from Saudi Arabia once told me an interesting thing. They said that in thier country, everyone tries to get their children on the doctor track in the schools. If the child isn't smart enough to do that, then they try to direct them to the engineer track. But if they fail in that also, then they send them to the religious schools to be an Imam, and that is the lowest level of respect in society. May Allah help us to reclaim the middle ground and bring the knowledge of the real scholars to the masses who are in desperate need of it. Ameen.

untitled

oh dear Lord,

how shall i find love,
when my heart is filled with hatred,
burning and feasting upon every single
cells within it.

shall i let this feeling stay,
or should i make it go away,
for it will become a terror,
when i unleashed the hatred and anger.

oh dear Lord,

and when the birds stop to fly,
as the judgment day coming by,
shall i be forgiven for all my sins,
for all the seven deadly sins.

let the wind be my messenger,
and the stars be my witnesses,
as i bow down to your mercy - oh dear Lord,
praying for the strength,
to become a good leader,
for my heart and my desire.

yey!

i lulus =)

see u guys in shah alam!

.:: Farewell ::.

So exalted is He in whose hand is the realm of all things, and to Him you will returned.

Tok, I hope and I pray that you'll rest in peace.
Take care, for I shall remember you always.

tagged

tagged by ily.

Rules:

Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.At the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
No tags back.

1-I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

2-I hate the way you drive my car,

3-I hate it when you stare.

4-I hate your big dumb boots

and the way you read my mind.

5-I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

6-I hate the way you're always right,

7-I hate it when you lie.

8-I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

9-I hate it when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

10-But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

not even close,

not even a little bit,

not even at all.

*seems familiar? hehe..anyway,i took it from the movie " 10 things i hate about you"

and basically,all that is written above is a little known fact about me and the things i hate

when I'm in love with someone.. =)

p/s I love you. =)

.:: Qurban ::.

Meaning of Qurban;

Qurban is an Islamic act of worship held on the special occasion or day of "celebration" known as Eidul Adha literally meant "Day of Sacrifice" which refers to the animal slaughtering.

The act of Qurban (Sacrifice) is carried out by millions of Muslims every year during Eid Al-Adha. Following the example of The Father of Prophets, Abraham (AS).

The prophet Muhammad PBUH was asked "What is Qurban?", He answered, "It is the sunnah of your father Ibrahim (AS), for every hair of the Qurban you will receive a reward from Allah and for every hair in the wool you will receive a reward". (Hadith - Ibn Maja and Tirmidhi).

The story of Abraham (AS) and his son, Ismael.

The story goes that God had asked Abraham to sacrifice his son whom he loved so much. This obviously saddens the father as was clear when (based on the Qur'an) he had asked his son's opinion of this. Abraham was basically torn between fulfilling the command of God and the love for his son.

Consider if that were to happen today in the modern (or post modern) family - the possible reply would be: are you freaking nuts!

Hence, consider again the reply from the Ismael that was articulated by the latter in the most calmest of tone - of one who is as devoted and dedicated to the Divine as his father: "fulfill it my dear father, insya allah, you will find me as amongst those with patience".

After some time, Abraham brought his son to the ground where he was to fulfill God's command and at the moment he was about to strike his son - the intervention from the Divine came with the appearance of a lamb.

God's command was now clear: You have done profoundly well as to manifest your devotion to the Divine. Hear is the reward - strike the lamb instead (God is truly most merciful and kind towards the believers).

In commemorating this deed of devotion, Muslim sacrifice a lamb/ sheep/ goat / cow on the Eidul Adha from their own wealth in the name of God and the meat is then distributed to the poor, those in need and close relatives.

Allah (swt) says in the Quran: "It is neither their meat nor their blood, that reaches Allah, it is your piety that reaches Him". (Al Qur'an, Ch:22 v:37)

Anyway, Happy Eidul Adha to all and have faith in whatever you do.

(Amen.)

|compilation|

summary and compilation of story~

________________________________________________________________

First story : summary of vc cup..

Well it didn't turn out as what we have expected..
can't say we are not prepared...our team did great job..
winning n fighting for the spot..however,at very last battle..
we fell..from my observation, the only thing that our teams are lacking
is in the exposure of competitive debate environment..most of them participated
only in the branch house tournament..and its not enough for them..lets look at an analogy ;

last vc,our team, the seniors [azad,fuzail,karl,adam,hilwa,shai n sham] who got
the spot for quarter are regularly participating in tournaments and ivy's..
within 3 semester,we've when to I.C.R.C debate, VC cup, Utp open also shah alam open..
since they have enough knowledge,they can excel and do well..Some may argued that it is
because of the training..but i can assure u that,the training..is enough..all the juniors need is to
have the experienced..when we combined both experience and knowledge..it will become
power..and by that time, the team can surely excel in any tournament..
anyway,very best of luck to them..keep striving for what u have believe in!

_________________________________________________________________

Second story ;

between life and death.

Yesterday, i visited my god-grandfather after a long period of time..
well everyone was busy so we didn't have to visit him..
anyway..i was shocked!..he looks terrible..he can't say a word..only nodding his head
couple of time..i was so sad when i saw him..lying on his bed..then,my mom asked me to read
Yassin for him..so i read passionately and the next thing i know,tears run down my cheek
like a stream..i can't hold myself..i stopped couple of times,wiped off my tears and then continued reading Yassin..I begged at God,at his mercy, please take him with you..I just can't stand looking at him alive but in a great pain..take him God..but again..its not my choice nor my decision
to determine his life and death..

all i can say is that, I'm sad..looking at him also makes me wonder about things in life..about
my life..it gives me these sort of question; "bila nak berubah.." "ape nak jadi.."
and all these question,i don't have the answer at the moment..ghahhh..

_________________________________________________________________

.:: Broken ::.

Broken hearts, love's deceit,

pieces fall down to my feet.

Broken promises, love's a lie,

puddles form from tears I cry.

Broken dreams, love's illusion,

sorrowed cause of your intrusion.

Broken hope, love's a game,

doesn't last, ends the same.

Broken sleep, love's the cause,

digs at me with sharpened claws.

Broken spirit, love of sorrow,

stolen now is my tomorrow.

Broken life, love is lost,

Broken now and that's the cost.

yeah..broken..but thats life as it should be...with its up and down..
someone told me that when you're climbing the stairs of life, you might get up
another level,or you might fall below..
but when you're at the bottom,the only way to move is to get up..
so yeah..I'm trying...they'd say that we only use 10% of our brains,but i guess,
we'll end up using only 10% or our hearts..anyway, salute!

p/s I'm not koo koo yet ;p

.:: people and things that i'm gonna miss in kedah ::.

First and foremost,the people that i miss the most :

looking forward to see you guys this weekend.

Next, my sifu =)



And also the adjudication session


Also my "loft"


and how can i forget - Makbul sp (minus hisyam)


yeah, malinja


Kedah debating society





Last but not least, my friends and the prelawrians;







well, I'm sorry if your picture wasn't uploaded here..but i can assured u,that each and everyone
that i know and i befriend with shall be treasured till the day i died..yeah..i promise that..
until our path crossed again,i shall say sayonara and take care..may god bless you guys all

p/s I do miss kedah..the food,the people and the surroundings.

debater..listen up!

well,VC cup is just around the corner..and since we didn't have our training session,
i need u guys to go to this website and read as many articles as you can..please..
Kedah's name is in your hand..yes your hand dear debaters..so start reading..

see u guys there..happy holidays ;)


http://www.economist.com/debate


p/s don't worry guys,it would be fun..trust me

.:: someone..someday ::.

someone...

missing someone shouldn't
be measured by how long
you haven't met or spoken
to that someone...

missing someone counts
when your going through
any moment wishing that
your someone is with you...

someday...

someday,when I'm with
that special someone,
I would love to say
"you are my someone baby,
you are the one who i miss the most.
and every moment, i wish you are
experiencing with me too..

perhaps...perhaps...perhaps...

kebingungan , kebosanan atau saja saja..

Firstly, pardon my page's background..memang saya masih bingung tentang code html dan xml..bukan tak pandai..cuma membaca code yg panjang2 membuat diri terasa bosan..hehe..

it's been three days in k.l. and I'm still trying to adjust my self to home regulations..my freedom seems to be limited at the moment..but its fine i guess since most of my friends still in the exam mode..

it's 3 a.m in the morning..and i can't sleep..and its not good..plus i can't stop thinking about a girl who is far away from me..thinking about a girl that at the moment seems to be out of my grasp.. thinking about a girl that can never be mine..

plain stupid huh?
bet i am one..

a friend of mine said that it takes courage to be a fool..but a fool with courage doesn't solve anything..i need idea..i need a fresh one..

perhaps or maybe someday when this journey of endless misery ends,
it would make me a better man..and a much more wiser than today...

amen~

p/s I'm hungry right now.. ;(

*disclaimer - kebingungan, kebosanan atau saja saja..ini hanya luahan rasa

fallen~

She's good to me,
she's a sight to see,
but she's ALREADY SOMEBODY'S BABY..

I can make you smile,
if you stay for a while,
but you're ALREADY SOMEBODY'S BABY..

p/s all i need is time...

I can cook..tidak percaya?

well, what more can i say? I just love to cook and eat..

p/s i love cooking,but that does not mean i'm gay ok ;p

dua dunia

Duka di kala malam termimpi-mimpi
Rindu di kala siang mencari-cari
Kasih sebenar tidak bertukar tidak sebentar
Walau dipisah lautan direnangi gelora
Dan kadang kala hanyut bagaikan dua arah
Malu sering bersua tapi jarang bersuara
Kenapa bercinta jika kesudahannya pasrah
Kerna bila dilamun indahnya tidak terkata
Tersimpan hasrat tiada siapa yang mengerti
Harapan menggunung sampai penghujung dinanti
Dipegangkan janji tetap ratu di hati
Dengan izin Tuhan kan bersama kapan hari pasti
Sabarlah menanti kesabaran diuji
Berdoa dalam sujud sejadah ditangisi
Aku pasrah sahaja pada Yang Esa
Kerna ku tahu dua dunia kita berbeza...

p/s angel dan cupid juga terluka..

10 REASONS WHY BEING SINGLE IS GREAT

Reason #1: You have a better body.
We have all been there you get into a relationship, and suddenly you’re trying out new recipes all the time and cuddling instead of exercising. Well, things tend to get worse with marriage. A recent Cornell University study found that women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage and unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first 10 years.

For the unmarried, though, the motivation to stay slim remains: “Singles look at themselves through the eyes of others and want to be attractive to potential partners,” says Susan Davis, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City, “so they’re still ‘working on themselves.’” In short, being single is way better than any New Year’s resolution or exercise DVD to motivate you to stay in shape.

Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have the time, the quiet and the lack of familial responsibilities. In fact, your premarital motivation to excel in life may be biologically programmed. According to a study conducted at the London School of Economics and Political Scientists, male scientists who stay single longer peak in their careers later in life and tend to be more productive than their married counterparts. Researchers theorize that men, in general, may show off their talents to win the interest of women and then, once they’ve won a wife, get comfortable and do less. In fact, studies have shown that testosterone levels, which boost action, decrease after a man gets married and has children. So single folk should know they are primed to achieve whether that means turbo-charging their careers or honing their rock-climbing skills and get out there and work it!

Reason #3: You do less housework.
You know that saying about a tree falling in a forest and there’s no one there to hear it? Well, if you leave a sock on the floor but there’s no one else there to see it, does it really need to be picked up? If you’re a single woman, you can contemplate deep questions like this one because you have more free time. According to one study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, women do less housework when single than when married. Men, on the other hand, do more housework when unmarried (that’s probably because there’s someone picking up after them once they’re wed…). So the message here is for unmarried women to enjoy their less chore-filled life; fill those free hours with classes, good books, blabbing with friends whatever makes you happy.

Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money including keep it.
Go ahead: Splurge on that pricey moisturizer or that obscenely large plasma TV you’ve been lusting after. You don’t have to justify your purchase to anyone but yourself. Once you mix money with marriage, though, things change and fast. According to a survey by Smart Money magazine, 40 percent of women and 36 percent of men have lied to their spouses about a purchase. “When you’re single, your finances are your own,” explains Phyllis Chase, a Los Angeles based psychologist and co-host of the radio show Shrink Rap. “When you’re married, you have to deal with different styles of spending and saving, and you may take on your partner’s debt.” And a marriage that doesn’t make it for the long haul can also have a major negative effect on one’s wealth. According to researchers at Ohio State University’s Center for Human Resource Research, during a divorce, men and women generally lose three-fourths of their personal net worth. Double ouch.

Reason #5: You have better sex.
Married couples may have more sex (approximately 98 times a year vs. singles’ 49), but singles have better sex. According to a recent study published in the British Medical Journal, married women are significantly more likely to report problems with their sex lives than single women. “People who are dating have better sex because it’s novel,” says Davis. “Married people have to relearn how to play. It’s natural for singles because that’s the nature of a courting relationship they tease, they experiment, they explore.” Nature lends a helping hand, too. According to researchers at the University of Pisa in Italy, raging testosterone levels in both men and women makes the sex hotter during the first two years of a relationship. After that, other hormones take over most notably, oxytocin, a bonding chemical, kicks in. While getting connected and comfortable is a positive step in a relationship, long-term lovers have to work harder to keep things hot in the bedroom. Singles, however, sizzle just the way they are.

Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
While snuggling up next to a warm body can be pretty fantastic, according to a survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, your bed mate can cause you to lose an average of 49 minutes of sleep per night. Sleeping two to a bed just isn’t as restful as snoozing solo. Other studies confirm that singles generally get more rest seven to eight hours of sleep a night than married couples, which enhances memory, mood and concentration, as well as allows your immune system to recharge. And, according to scientists at the University of Luebeck in Germany, creativity and problem-solving may directly correlate with getting enough sleep. In the study, participants were given a math puzzle; those who’d had eight hours of sleep or more before tackling it were three times more likely to get the right answer than those who slept less. So, singles, revel in the fact that you’re alert, rested and have that extra brain power edge.

Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Although the media often perpetuates the image of single people being down in the dumps, overall unmarried people tend to be happier than their married counterparts if you’re a woman, that is. One report by the World Health Organization indicated that married women, especially ones with children, have a higher risk for depression than single women, and researchers at the University of London found that single women generally have fewer mental-health issues. “Marriage, in many ways, seems to benefit men more than women,” says Davis. “For women, there’s more of a loss of self.” And, of course, today’s women often feel like they need to do it all have a career, take care of the kids and perform other traditionally “female” responsibilities. “People who aren’t married are still investing in themselves,” says Davis. “It’s not selfish it’s giving to yourself, and that’s something married people can learn from single people.”

Reason #8: You have better friendships.
Significant others are a wonderful thing, no doubt, but friends count, too. And on that front, one study found that, when women get married and have children, they spend much less time with their friends less than five hours a week, down from 14 hours. Singles, however, often have the greatest sense of friendship and community which can actually decrease stress levels, according to researchers at UCLA.

Here's another way to look at this: “Singles don’t rely on just one person to meet their needs. You don’t automatically know who you’re going to spend Friday night with,” says Sasha Cagen, author of Quirky alone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. “The plus side is that you have a lot of different people in your life and potentially a greater sense of social possibilities.”

Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Married couples take the most vacations, dominating the market with 62 percent of all trips taken, but singles arguably go on more interesting trips. According to the Travel Industry Association of America, singles corner the adventure-travel market, engaging in activities like white water rafting, scuba diving and mountain biking. Being single and relatively footloose certainly allows you to expand your geographical and personal borders. “I have lived abroad, backpacked for close to a year, have been in love three times and much more,” says Courtney Davis, 27, a media-relations manager in Boston. “With every place and every person, my world has expanded.”

Reason #10: You know yourself and what you want out of a relationship.
You are a better catch now than you were at 20. You may have signs of, ahem, experience etched on your face, but that’s OK because you’re more interesting and more self-aware. Not only have you grown as a person, but you’ve probably been through the ringer a few times in matters of love and now know what you want and what you don’t. Experts say that bodes well for future marital success and may actually decrease the likelihood of divorce. “When people get married young, they often feel like the other person will complete them, and they have trouble moving past that Hollywood myth,” explains Chase. “But maturity brings so much, because if you’re able to communicate who you are and what you want, the better your chances of having a successful marriage.” And that’s a wonderful message: Your single self is great... and should you find the right person and decide to marry, you’re more likely to thrive in that stage of your life, too.

p/s A friend of mine send me this,which is very good..tepat pada masanya~

Taggged by Taskin~

Rules.


Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.


At the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.


No tags back.

15 weird things/habits/little known facts about me~

1-

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4-

5-

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7-

8-

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10-

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13-

14-

15-


bet you guys are wondering why i didn't write anything kan?
well i do believe that u need to keep something for yourself,a bit of secret..if everything about me being posted here,what's left for my future wife to discover later?i'm sure she wants to know something else bout me besides things in the bedroom kan?

disclaimer ;- I don't write any 18sx novels ;p

Zodiac signs~

well i got this from sham, but i think its a good thing..hee..

VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy Pessimistic.


SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.


LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can' t make up their mind Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily Procrastinators. Very gullible.


ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.


AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.


GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.


LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.


CANCER - The Protector
May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others Easily hurt, but sympathetic.


PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don ' t like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist. Doesn ' t want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn ' t like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn ' t like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn ' t like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

so you see, all the bold words are the thing that people often said to me and things that i discover bout myself..so i guess,even if i'm a taurus, i still have other zodiac traits..so it makes me an all rounder..haha..they said self - praise is no praise but, who give a sh*t? as long as i'm happy thats fine i guess ;)

disclaimer - I'm not liable for any of this ;p

Fallen in love with 2 persons

i don't know why i have so much idea on raya's morning..;p

Well, if you were caught in this dilemma, there is definitely nothing wrong with that. What to say, we are human after all, creature of great emotions. There is no way we can stop that very love chemical from producing and pumping within us. It is just very natural for one to develop a liking for another opposite sex especially when they are just physically attractive in appearance too.And not to mention that when the both are also getting along very well with one another?

In our interactions with one another, there just couldn’t be only one but many of also others opposite sex whom we would meet. And very often, we would just develop a liking for some of them, sometimes even more than just two. That is life. Life is just full of choices. But then again, what is the meaning of choice? Very simple, it means having to make a decision over which to choose and in this case whom to be choosing, choosing the one whom you are going to love. Yup, there is nothing wrong with fallen in love with more than one person as long as at the end of the day, you make your choice. And to be able to truly experience some real love, you have to. Yes, it is only when you are physically into a real relationship will you be able to then acquire and truly experience that real joyfulness and sweetness of being in love. If you never give yourself that chance to be in one, you will just never feel it.

Even a child understands this. Recall your childhood. I should believe that you have experienced wanting just everything when you were at the toy store. Everything just seem so fascinating to you then, wasn’t it? So you cried and bet for your mum and dad to buy them for you. And very often, you are only given the choice of choosing only one. But you refused the offer and continue to cry hoping you would be able to just get everything. And what happened in the end? You ended up with nothing at all. So you grown smarter choosing only one the next time, successfully getting what you want and eventually get to enjoy playing with your new toy, having lot of funs with it didn’t you?
Well, we can’t of course deny that facts that some lucky kids may get more than just one of what they beg for. But at the end of the day, of the toys they have got, he or she would eventually like one of them best, isn’t it? Hmmm…? Still remember what was your favorite toy?

If as a kid back then, you were able to make that decision over which toys to choose, why is it you can’t now? Not able to make up your mind over whom to choose. Think about it. You certainly want to be able to experience some great and just fantastic love, don’t you? Then you have to just be like a smart kid, cleverly knowing how to be getting his or her toys. Remember, you can’t have the best of the both worlds and that is for sure. Just like choosing your toys, you have to make that decision over whom to choose and only then will you have the chance to get to enjoy that wonderfulness of being in love. Hmmm…? Didn’t you just forget about the other toys at the toy store while enjoying yourself playing with that new toy you have chosen for yourself?

Believe me, things may seem great and wonderful at first having the companionship of more than just one. But it is just all of a short-term happiness. At the end of the day, the one losing out is going to be only you yourself. You will just probably end up with nothing at all, back to loneliness just once again. This is what our many friends at our forum have feedback. Nonetheless, a genuine true love is what I believe you are seeking? If you are not able to control your feeling well, you may unknowingly found yourself falling into the region of lust, hurting someone whom may very possibly be liking you too. I am sure this is something you wouldn’t want, right? Now, follow where your heart goes. Between the both, there will definitely be one whom you will like more. Just give yourself some time… And when you found that answer, all the correct actions would just very naturally follow; you will just know what you have to be doing. In life, it is only when your goal or objective is clear will you know where to be heading and moving on.
Be it the path of life or love, I am sure you don’t want to be lost and stuck, not knowing where to go? Remember, the longer you drag things, the worse will the situation become. And in the end, you might not only be hurting those who truly love you but also yourself too. When you have to choose, you just have to. Having choices is always better than having none at all, isn’t it? Now, not many may be as fortunate as you. So, don’t lose that chance when you have it. Work things the smart way. Learn to cherish what you have…

*disclaimer- I'm not in this situation right now ;p

interpretation; what do you think of this pic?

been cleaning up files and documents in my laptop..just a routine cleanup until i found this picture..its kinda weird i guess..but somehow deep in my heart thinks that this picture is more meaningful than others...



so you see,both of the main character in the picture was smiling pleasantly..seems like the two of them was enjoying that moment..moments which led to a creation of sweet memories..as much as i want to believe...the girl in the picture was telling me that she hate me for forcing her to suap the guy in the picture but in the end,both of them seems to be happy as in the world revolved just around the two of them..

i wonder why?

just another question that i don't think i have the answer...

am i crazy or i just have a split personality?

its 5.23 in the morning..not to mention its the raya's morning..i can't sleep..too many things that is on my mind(including her).. I've been wondering for quite sometimes now..yesterday, and old friend of my mine said something..which i usually don't care..but since she's one of the person that knows me well in my life,her words seems to have a bigger impact than others..

she said : why are you so mean these days?
i said : well,reality bites dear n it is not as sweet as you think..that's why I'm doing you a favor now..so you know what to expect in life...
she said : you've changed a lot since the last time we met...
i said : i don't changed pon..or maybe I've grown wiser..
she said : I'm kinda miss the "old" you..the sweet one..even if you've grown wiser,that doesn't mean you should be mean to others dear..

i was left clueless....

to be honest, i don't know why i've been so mean lately..but i'm still the same old person..still sweet.. still knows how to respect others(i hope)..even emellia said that sometimes she's scared with me..maybe its my defense mechanism..i just don't want to be hurt..or maybe i'm turning into a monster..i don't know..but i guess its all part of life where you need to discover your true color,your true self..just hope that along the process,i wont be hurting too much people..

i don't blame people to hate me,in fact i don't mind if other people hates me..i just want to be myself..to be honest and frank even if it hurts you like hell coz reality bites and it is not as sweet as you think..

wanna bet with me?

to juggle or to love?

cinta itu buta, dan juga boleh membutakan,
melukakan dan sukar untuk kita lupakan...

now,that's a line from dua dunia by too phat feat siti...
yesterday a friend of mine asked about how to juggle people around instead of breaking up or letting the "precious someone" go..so, but before i give any opinion,lets identify which category of juggler you people want to be :

basically,there's three type of juggler (according to my observation n experience)

Juggler 1 a.k.a miss/mr i can't be alone

this type usually a person who can't stand himself/herself being alone..always want accompany a.k.a bf/gf..now they usually take whatever they have in front of them.ie, someone who shows interest or even ex(s)..the part of juggling begins when they tend to take everything in front of them without choosing and later on do not know how to "buang"..

juggler 2 a.k.a ms/mr i'm keeping my option open

this usually happens when a third party comes into a relationship..even though it is not wrong and not impossible for a person to fall with two person at the same time, but it suck when u are included in this love triangle..the person who loved both would have a tough time choosing between the two which have their own qualities..later stage of this lovey triangle would be lots of emotional pain and stress


juggler 3 a.k.a ms/mr im a player

this type,guess everyone knows..a person who cheat,lie just to get in lots of other people pants and skirts and also blouses and etc...this type usually have sky rocket confidence,charming and also skills..its hard to identify this type lately because they too have evolve into much more complex character that sometimes you would misjudge a person who have a high level of confidence as player..just beware,and also don't let your guard down,not even a sec when you feel something isn't right..

so, in which category are you?

basically, if u want to be a juggler, u'll need to have three criteria ;-
1-brain,
2-confidence
3-skills
4-looks
5-money
*note that the no4 and no5 are plus point but not necessary

in order to have a brain, u'll need a lot of reading..current issues,mags and also travel brochures..
u'll never know what u might encounter..for instance, u never been to Bali but u have read something about Bali,u can use this as a subject of conversation..also imagine u trying to hit a kelantanese chick but u never been to kelantan,u can used the information from the travel brochures to talk or something..atleast u are not like those dumbjock who sit in front of a nice girl and goes um erm mmm nthen smile like kerang busuk...

what about confindence?..a key factor between a player and a playar..how to build up your confidence?...i dont know..u need to find out yourself because different people have different ways to boost their confidence..for instance,i joined the debate club when i was a freshman and it helped me a lot ;p (to raise my confidence not to become a juggler)...

the last key would be the skills..a true player would have its own skills and trademark..it would developed naturally along the way and along the game..most of it through pain and humiliation during trial and error period..once they get the vibe and rythm of the game,they are on their way to win the game..

another two plus point i do not need to elaborate..u guys should know..

so in my humble opinion,no one needs to be hurt or to feel hurt..jgn la bermain dgn perasaan orang lain..because what goes around,comes around..nnt biler dah terkena btg hidung baru nak nyesal..x de maknenye makcik!!! hehe...

post ni ditujukan kepada emellia yang cube merebut suami org..a.k.a sir ;p
*disclaimer - I'm neither a juggler nor a player..I'm just a plain advisor

How to survive a break up~

Lately,many of my friends came and ask fer my advice on relationship and etc2..
some of them even called me doctor love or cupid but i'm not..even i screwed up sometimes in my relationship,but it doesn't stopped me from helping others..

so,for those who are in need of advice on how to survive a break up,here are the famous 5 tips i would gave which i got it from Rich Santos - a columnist in marie claire

1. Ride Off Into The Sunset

Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a girl breaks up with me, I will say:

"OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time).You take care."

My business is done.

Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won't tell her how much I miss her. I won't tell her she made a mistake. I won't call, email or text. I won't mention her to mutual friends. I'll be gone from her life.

Suddenly, it will dawn on the girl that she is not getting her money's worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it's no problem, she'll start to think:

"Wow, why isn't he shaken up over this? Did he even care that I broke up with him?"

Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:

"Did I do the right thing breaking up with him?"

That's when you know you're in business.

2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect

Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can't let that show. Remember:

"Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?"

We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.

This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you've got other things going on. Of course you're miserable and there's NOTHING going on in your life, but they don't have to know it!

Make It Quick?

3. Enact the Verb in "Breaking Up"

Get rid of all evidence of them -- put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I'm a sucker for a strand of hair or her shampoo smell left on a pillow after a girl is over. After the breakup, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember, in breaking up, to think of it like a guillotine: make it fast.

On a guillotine, you'd rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until your head finally fell off.

If it's a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.

4. Don't Look Back

It's hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down...but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:

"Gosh, just two weeks ago,we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close..."

...will just make it more painful. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over it.

5. Remember You'll Get Over It

The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you've truly gotten over someone. You're renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you'd never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: "break on through to the other side!"

Well I don't know about you, but after going through all that, I'm inspired to get dumped!

who cut down the cherry tree?

> Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president,
> chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. His father saw the damaged
> tree and asked his son if he knew who did it. George was quoted
> bravely admitting the truth:

> 'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I cut it with my axe.'

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the same question:

> Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - 'I did not chop down that cherry tree; I was just taking a nap under it.'

> Najib Razak - 'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'

> Hishamuddin Hussein Onn - '...but I only own a keris ,not an axe; so how to chop down that cherry tree?'

> Dr Mahathir Mohamd - 'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.'

> VK Lingam - 'It could be me, it may be me but I don't think it's me.'

> Anwar Ibrahim - 'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.'

> Mohd Khir Toyo - 'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.'

> Ahmad Said (Terengganu MB) - 'I chopped it down because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.'

> Azalina Othman - 'Cherry tree is not included in my tourism MOU so I chopped it down. Besides, there are so many unauthorised signboards being put up by Ah Long around that damn tree.'

> Shabery Cheek - 'Not me. I challenge you to an open debate on tree cutting.'

> S Samy Velu - 'I chopped it down because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.

> Wira Ali Rustam - 'We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years. We do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.'

> Rais Yatim - 'You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad Said said cherry trees are expensive to maintain; Ali Rustam said that's against our national identity and, I needed to test my new axe; so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'

> Sharir Samad - 'I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.'

> Karpal Singh - 'The bigfoot creature did it.'

> Bung Mokhtar - 'The big monkey did it.'

> Pandikar Amin Mulia (Speaker) - 'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees. Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.

> Khairy Jamaluddin - 'I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?'

> Lim Kit Siang - 'Cherry tree also you don't know; you are an insult to Oxford!'

> Nazri Abdul Aziz - 'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now....'

> Malaysian Citizens - 'Oh for heaven's sake! Somebody please plant something before we all starve to death!'